When I began my career 20 years ago, I was told that Kiwis didn’t “date.”
Dating was an American thing.
Instead, Kiwis did it the old-fashioned way. They went out, got pissed, and ended up snogging on the dance floor.
Then they made it home, woke up in bed together, and from that moment on, they were in a relationship.
Turns out, Kiwis underestimated the role of alcohol in American hookups.
As drinking has declined among Gen Z and young adults, casual sex has, too.
A 2021 Rutgers University-New Brunswick study found that drinking less explained a third of the drop in sexual activity for young men (and only a quarter for young women).
It’s not just the disinhibition effects of alcohol as a social lubricant. It’s also the locations where alcohol is consumed.
When young people stay home (and play video games) instead of going out with friends, they drink less. But they’re also not meeting anyone.
Pub culture and nightlife are on the decline around the world. As the cost of drinking rises and income shrinks, it’s no longer affordable to go out. Plus, we were becoming homebodies even before COVID struck. Thanks to streaming services and our devices, we don’t need to leave the house to be entertained.
Now a minority of couples meet in clubs and bars. And perhaps that’s a good thing. Vetting each other on a dating app before the “beer goggles” kick in can help us make better choices.
But for shy folk who need to warm up before they feel comfortable talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex, alcohol has always been an important crutch. We’re more likely to take a chance on an attractive stranger after a few drinks.
No one really wants to go back to the days when young people got smashing drunk and hit on anything that moves. But the tradition of going out on a Friday and having a few drinks deserves to stay. It’s one of the few ways we have of meeting people in person. And those few drinks may have been doing more heavy lifting than we realized.
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