Look, you’re an adult. You know whether you feel good the morning after or not.
If you don’t usually regret it, then go for it.
If you usually wish you hadn’t done it, then stop.
It’s that simple.
But if you want to make it more complicated, here are two things you need to know.
1
It’s CulturalWhen I moved to Christchurch 20 years ago, a guy set me straight on how relationships start here. “A guy and a girl go to a club. They get royally pissed. Once he’s got enough liquid courage in him, he goes up to her. They hook up. The next morning they wake up in bed together, take one look, and think, ‘Oh, okay, we’re in a relationship now.'”
Dating, he said, was for Americans.
2
Sex Isn’t LoveDon’t assume that heat between the sheets will lead to a relationship. It doesn’t matter how great you are in bed together; that doesn’t necessarily factor into whether they want a relationship with you. The best data we have suggests that relationships that start off with sex are less likely to last.
(Why? Because what keeps long-term couples together isn’t their passion between the sheets; it’s being best friends. Becoming friends first is actually a more successful, though underrated, route to lasting love.)
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